military wife

You would think that growing up with a father who was in the Navy for 30 years would prepare me for the life style I live now. But nothing can quite prepare you for all the sacrifices and heartbreak a wife has to endure. Chris' first deployment came after we were married for a year. It was difficult because I was in a risky pregnancy and I wasn't capable of doing much. Thankfully my parents took care of me for the 3 months until he returned. I still missed him like crazy. I cried every night. My heart literally ached because I was without him. Since then we've only experienced being separated for a couple months at most. It was easier those times because he was in the states for training and we could talk every day and all day unless he was in class. But this deployment will be different. He is scheduled to leave in August for 4 months. Surprisingly I'm hoping he goes to Iraq. Iraq is more established and is actually safer. Phone calls and emails to each other might not be every day but more frequently if he were there. The other scenario is Afghanistan. He's not quite sure how Afghanistan will be but its more difficult flying because of the mountains, canyons, etc. We spoke to a friend who got back from Iraq in February and said the bombings and raids have significantly dropped since last year. His safety is my number one concern. Secondly, its my girls. They are too young to understand why daddy will have to be gone so long and why they can't talk to him every day. I don't want them to be disappointed. I don't want to see their hearts break. They love their daddy and miss him when he's on a long flight. I can't imagine how it will be for them to not see him for 4 months. And I can't even think about myself. To sleep in an empty bed every night. Wake up, take care of my girls, and experience things with them that he can't be a part of. Its times like these I want to pack up, get out, and go back home. But I support my husband and I commend him for his strength. We were in college when 9/11 happened. I remember Chris, Brian, and myself standing in the university center and watching the TV's. It was then Chris and Brian jokingly said they would join the military and kick some ass. At the end of that semester Chris didn't register for the next term. He joined the Air Force. When he went to Qatar it wasn't enough for him. Qatar aided the war, but it wasn't the war. He did recruiting and hated it. He said he felt like he wasn't really in the military sitting behind a desk. He wanted to matter, he wanted to leave, he wanted a job that meant more to him. As much as I rag about his job consuming so much time... how do you not love a man who has such integrity and ambition. He wouldn't be the man that I love if he wasn't volunteering to go. And so we enjoy the next few months before he leaves. Atleast he'll be home for Christmas.